I spent £150 a day on drugs before one thing changed my life

Stephen Melling's road to recovery began with him doing something he never had before

Just a few months ago, a dad-of-four found himself writing suicide notes, feeling totally overwhelmed by life and struggling with an addiction that seemed to keep tightening its grip. Thankfully, Stephen Melling had a moment of clarity and was able to take back control.

The 45-year-old, from Liverpool, took his first step toward recovery by doing something he had never done before. Not knowing then that it would mark the beginning of a huge journey for him, something compelled Stephen to run a single lap around a car park.

He told the Liverpool ECHO: “It was the worst point of my life. My mental health was at an all-time low. I was addicted to cocaine and alcohol. At my worst, I was spending £150 on drugs a day and was drinking three bottles of wine, easily. After I wrote the letters, I decided to go for a walk to get some fresh air before following through with my suicide plans.

"I found myself by Broadgreen Hospital, a place where I’ve spent time before. I don’t know what came over me, but my feet just took me to Broadoak, the mental health unit inside. I knocked on the door and asked for help.”

Stephen said this wasn't the first attempt he made on his own life, adding he has struggled for decades - since his uncle William died by suicide when Stephen was just nine years old. Stephen said: “William was my role model growing up - he taught me a lot of things. He taught me about aeroplanes, astrology, and fishing.

"I struggled with this all through my teenage years, and when I got into adulthood, the loss of him and the abandonment came out in the worst ways. Unhealthy ways. I started associating with the wrong people and I started using drugs and drinking. Over the years, I got addicted to it. It lead to my mental health being in the gutter. I had a number of suicide attempts. My marriage broke down, and I was an absent father.”

Stephen spent a week inside Broadoak before he was discharged. However, he said he fell back into his addiction almost immediately as he wasn’t “able to cope”. He continued: “I couldn’t deal or had the ability to deal with life on life’s terms.

"It was so intense and there were extreme feelings. I was getting myself in trouble with the police. One side was saying to have another drink and forget about it and another was saying I’ve had enough and needed to do something. I didn’t want to live like this any more.”

That night, after being released from Merseyside Police custody, Stephen started running. That moment of inspiration has now grown into Recovery Runners, a support group helping individuals in similar situations to Stephen. The group has since expanded to over 100 members across Liverpool, and Stephen’s community is showing no signs of slowing down.

To mark his 45th birthday today, Friday, Stephen is embarking on a 110-mile run across the country within 24 hours. The ultra-endurance challenge, sponsored by Liverpool’s Good To Go Recovery Drinks, aims to raise funds for the community interest company so that it can continue with its work.

Stephen said: “It clears my head running. It gets rid of my anxiety and those thoughts. I’m sleeping better, I lost two and a half stone. Running saved my life, and I can’t put it into words.” You can donate to Stephen’s fundraiser here.

Helplines and support groups

The following are helplines and support networks for people to talk to, mostly listed on the NHS Choices website

• Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
• CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.
• PANDAS (0808 1961 776) runs a free helpline and offers a support service for people who may be suffering with perinatal mental illness, including prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression plus support for their family or network.
• Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won't show up on your phone bill.
• PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
• Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
• Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
• Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.
• Amparo provides emotional and practical support for anyone who has been affected by a suicide. This includes dealing with police and coroners; helping with media enquiries; preparing for and attending an inquest and helping to access other, appropriate, local support services. Call 0330 088 9255 or visit www.amparo.org.uk for more details.
• Hub of Hope is the UK’s most comprehensive national mental health support database. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text HOPE to 85258 to find relevant services near you.
• James' Place - supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/