The Traitors' Andrew Jenkins 'wished he was dead' after devastating car accident

The Traitors star Andrew Jenkins has bravely opened up about the lowest point of his mental health following a fatal car accident aged 21, when he was pronounced dead

The Traitors' Andrew Jenkins "wished he was dead" after his mental health rapidly deteriorated following a horrifying car accident

Andrew, 46, suffered a devastating injury when he was just 21-years-old following a car crash. His car hit a curb, flipped over and he was thrown out of the driver's side window before being dragged across the floor. The car eventually landed on top of Andrew. He was subsequently pronounced dead on the side of the road before spending four weeks in a coma. The extent of his injuries were so severe, that medical staff informed the family there was a strong chance if he woke up, he wouldn't be able to walk or recognise anybody again.

However, Andrew defied the odds and just weeks later, he was up on his feet and walking again. Despite overcoming his physical injuries, Andrew was left with both physical and mental scars. He recalled losing his identity after his accident as well as losing the chance to play as a professional rugby player for Wales.

During a candid chat with the Mirror, Andrew revealed that at his lowest point, while dealing with the mental aftermath of the accident, he lay in bed wishing he was dead. "I had lots of dark times after my accident," he said. He added: "They patch you up in hospital, they do amazing things, I'll never hear a bad word about the NHS, they saved my life. But they don't prepare you for the mental battle that lies ahead.

"I struggled for 24 years with my mental health. It was tough, I used to lie in bed some days, looking at the ceiling wishing I was dead. I was a hindrance to my family, hated who I looked like. I called myself a freak every single day when I looked in the mirror. I had no self-worth, no self-esteem and I projected it onto everybody else as well."

While he admits "it's getting better," Andrew acknowledged the stigma around men's mental health and men being afraid to speak out. "I think they should change the word, 'mental health', as soon as you hear that word, you automatically think of somebody say in the corner rocking back and forth crying.

"It's not that, every single person on this planet has mental health, some have good, some have bad. It's a sliding scale." Andrew revealed he declined counselling because he was a "macho 21-year-old ignorant youngster" and believed he would be judged by "somebody in a white coat."

"I'm a very strong person, I can lift lots in the gym," he said, adding: "But my mental health will out-muscle my physical health every single time. It'll beat me." He added: "It's like a trauma, every single person needs to deal with their trauma," before saying that something "insignificant" could pop up in weeks, months or even years time after the incident and "you'll snap and either try and take your own life or succeed, or you'll do something completely out of character. Trauma doesn't go away, it sits inside you."

Andrew admits that he's only started to accept his scarring in the "last couple of years" having struggled for "20-odd years". The star continued: "There are people who are out there who have been told they can't do something, or they don't believe in themselves. I want to be a beacon of hope for everyone out there. There's so much negativity in the world, I want to show people that there are good things happening."

Currently, Andrew is embarking on a mammoth 1200km walk to raise funds for brain injury charity, Headway. His walk saw him set off from the famous Traitors Castle and he'll continue on the journey for 42 days – touching all four corners of the United Kingdom, including stops at Lancaster Castle in England, Carrickfergus Castle in Northern Ireland and ending at Cardiff Castle. "It's going to be a mental battle for myself," Andrew said of his walk.

He added: "It's going to be tough mentally." But he has no lavish plans for the end of the daunting challenge, joking that he'll kick back and have a "few massages and ice baths." Andrew revealed he was called a "miracle" by the medical staff who treated him and hopes that his walk will allow people to push themselves and offer them not only a confidence boost – but a mental health boost. While most people never see their doctors or surgeons again, Andrew had an extremely emotional encounter with the doctor who saved his life.

"When I met the man who saved my life, 18 months ago, it was quite an emotional day," he said. He added: "I hadn't seen the guy for 25 years, I met him and he said 'You should be dead, you should have died on so many occasions but look at how big and strong you are', he made me realise there's no second chance at life. This is my life and I've got to make the most of it."

Donations for Andrew's walk and Headway can be made on his Givestar page.

If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch

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