Ferne McCann in tears as she opens up on 'sad' decision to quit reality TV after 11 years

Ferne McCann says making the difficult decision to say goodbye to reality television after over a decade was "emotional" but necessary for the sake of her family

Reality star Ferne McCann has had a whirlwind year. She welcomed her second child last summer and has been balancing motherhood, her career, and becoming a blended family with her fiancé, Lorri Haines (who has a son, Noah, from a previous relationship). All of this has been documented in her reality show, My Family And Me. However, as she sits down at the launch of her podcast with baby brand Mum and You, Ferne seems to be handling everything with grace.

"I'm feeling more confident as a mum this time around," shares Ferne, who is accompanied by her 15-month-old daughter, Finty. But as the exclusive chat with OK! moves onto her decision to step back from her reality show after six years, Ferne, 34, becomes slightly emotional, saying it's what happens "every time" she talks about it.

"It was a significant decision for me, but I knew it was the right one," she says. "My daughter Sunday, who turns seven next month, started Year 2 and my gut feeling, intuition, and heart were telling me to 'Let's press pause'. There were instances when she'd come home from school and feel pressured to change out of her uniform and prepare for the show, which I didn't want. But it is sad.

"It's like ending a relationship – the show was one of the longest relationships of my life. It's been a wonderful chapter and I have no regrets. As a mother, you're always second-guessing yourself, so I keep reminding myself to 'Trust yourself'. However, I can't imagine my life without cameras. I love making TV."

Despite her emotional farewell, Ferne, found fame on TOWIE in 2013, is also excited about the next chapter, which includes participating in the upcoming series of Dancing On Ice. She'll be joining the likes of Coronation Street star Sam Aston, The Traitors finalist Mollie Pearce and EastEnders actress Charlie Brooks in the 2025 celebrity line-up.

"I'm actually just buzzing. It's perfect timing because if I didn't have that, I'd be thinking, 'What am I going to do next?'," she shares. "My younger self was always eager to do shows like Celebrity SAS and I'm A Celebrity and win them, but now I'm older, my priorities have changed. I don't have that desperation – I just want to enjoy myself. Sunday is going to come and watch.

"It will be the first time in her life that she'll see me on TV. She has never watched My Family And Me – I try to shield her. I'm really looking forward to it, but I might get more nervous when rehearsals kick off."

Ferne is used to spinning more than a couple of plates as mum to Sunday and her little sister Finty, who she shares with Lorri. The former TOWIE star says the six-and-a-half-year age gap has helped make the transition from one to two kids easier, and she's become more confident second time around and its brought her and Lorri closer.

"Our relationship started with lust – it was all fireworks and whirlwind romance. Then we had to introduce our children, which we wanted to take slowly. I feel like Finty has solidified our family. Anything worth having takes time and we've had to figure out how we are as parents."

That said, she admits she still struggles with mum guilt. "It's something that never leaves you, whether you're away from your kids for 10 minutes or a whole weekend. But I make sure to prioritise time for myself – I adore being a mum, but I also cherish having my own life. This year, I took a "Girls and gays" trip to St Tropez, which was fantastic. It had been ages since I'd holidayed without my children and it reminded me that we mums need these breaks.

"It's also about maintaining my identity. Becoming a mum can cause you to lose a bit of yourself. I remember wondering, 'Oh God, am I just a mum now?'. And while that's okay because it's the hardest job in the world, I want to do things for myself as well."

On the subject of her new podcast - Keeping The Little Things Little - Ferne says being a host rather than a guest was "a different kettle of fish" but she felt honoured to be asked to take it on.

"It was right up my street," she says. "The contrast between recording a podcast and filming a reality show is stark. I felt I could be more authentic, less restrained. I was at ease and engaged in the conversation. Before TOWIE, I was a hairdresser, so I enjoy a bit of chit-chat."