'My wife broke my trust 15 years ago - we moved on but now I'm ditching her'

A man is planning on divorcing his wife over something she did 15 years ago - as it's been eating him up inside for over a decade and he can't look at her the same way

This man can hold a grudge for a long time.

Would you leave your partner if they did something that broke your trust in a major way? For most of us, the answer is yes. However, it isn't always that easy, especially if you have children and a family home that you want to maintain without causing unnecessary stress and hurt to the people not involved in your relationship quarrel.

This is exactly the conundrum one man faced 15 years ago when his wife embarked on an affair that lasted "a couple of weeks" and completely broke his heart. He chose to move past the cheating and stayed with his wife for the sake of his twin daughters, but it has always played on his mind ever since.

In a post on Reddit, he explained: "My wife cheated on me 15 years ago, her affair lasted a couple of weeks. I was really hurt at the time, but we also had twin daughters who were three, and for me, my kids were my utmost priority, and I did not want them to struggle at all.

"So I decided to stay with wife, who followed all the reconciliation steps. It took me a couple of years to regain my love for my wife after she spent a lot of effort to better herself and our relationship. However, I had never forgotten the affair, and my wife cheating on me was always on the back of my mind."

Over a decade later, the couple's daughters are now 18 and are heading to university this year. And with his children now gaining independence from their parents, the dad isn't sure if he has any reason to stay with his wife.

He added: "It's been 15 years now, and our marriage is not without its ups and downs, but we've also gone on vacations, do date nights often, and our relationship is still pretty romantic. Our daughters turned 18 a few months ago, and they are both in university now. I am really proud of both of them and could not be happier.

AITAH for considering leaving my wife who cheated on me 15 years ago now that our kids are in college?
byu/FinancialPlantd inAITAH

"But now that they're both in college and now that they’re independent and entering adulthood, I have been seriously considering the possibility of a divorce. As a parent, I think I have done my job, and have done my best to raise them in a loving home. I do love my wife, and if I ask her for a divorce, it will completely blindside her. But I still haven’t forgotten my wife cheating on me 15 years ago, and it will always be on the back of my mind as long as we're married."

Commenters on the post largely encouraged the man to do what he believes is right for himself. However, they urged him to have an "honest conversation" with his wife about how he feels about her infidelity, as she may have no idea that he's still hurting after so many years.

One person said: "She might not be aware that the pain is still there, and having a truthful talk could shift the course of your relationship. After so many years, both of you have changed and grown, and maybe this conversation could lead to a new phase of understanding and mutual support. Otherwise, if you choose to move forward, you will have done so with clarity."

And another added: "I think when you become an 'empty nester', life kind of hits you in the face, in a way it doesn't when you are in the parenting thick of it. I'd say if you are still thinking about the affair, it is eating you, and you should divorce as amicably as you can, as it will continue to eat away, and that is no way to live."

Do you have a story to sell? Get in touch with us at yourmirror@trinitymirror.com.