Harnessing the ‘Love Hormone' for Resilience in Tough Times

Oxytocin can help people manage mental and emotional discomfort.

Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

Key points

• Engaging in oxytocin-boosting activities may help you work through challenging periods.
• Oxytocin is released when you cuddle with your partner, flirt, or have a deep conversation with a loved one.
• The hormone also has a positive effect on physical processes, n such as regulating blood pressure.
• Practicing oxytocin-boosting activities should be done consistently to reap the benefits.

By Jana Wu, LCSW, LADC

Coping with the stress of our daily lives isn’t easy, particularly in the context of our collective upheaval from COVID-19, the changing climate, dramatic increases in the cost of living, and global unrest. The stress we are experiencing is real and affects our whole society.

It’s therefore crucial to our individual and community's long-term health that we identify tools to navigate mental discomfort and pain as it arises. We need strategies to help alleviate stress in the now as well as those to create mental health savings accounts to address stressors in the future.

Talk therapy, family, and friends are important for support during hard times, but we can also rely on ourselves for help. By leveraging a natural positivity response in the brain, we can learn to manage our stressors with minimal feelings of hopelessness and panic. Through our choices, practices, and actions, we can stimulate the production of the neural hormone oxytocin, which shifts our outlook and brings a sense of calm and connection.

Oxytocin is known as the “love hormone,” is both a hormone and a neurotransmitter, produced in the brain’s hypothalamus. It spurs positive, warm feelings after a hug, a good laugh, or a moment of connection. By intentionally incorporating into our daily lives activities that stimulate the release of oxytocin, we can cultivate a sense of resilience in the present and future.

The Mental Impact of Uncertainty and Stress

Typical life events, like weddings, births, and deaths, can trigger a range of uncomfortable emotions and feelings. Just as the events themselves can be unpredictable, so can our reactions to them. Weddings and births, while often joyous, can also bring about feelings of pressure and inadequacy. A divorce, prolonged illness, or even a natural course of life such as perimenopause or adolescence can elicit overwhelming emotions or trigger acute anxiety or even depression that manifests as intense irritability.

We may be unaware of why such events are triggering, especially if they are typically associated with happiness or other prescribed emotions. Research indicates fear of the unknown is often the root cause of distress in times of transition. The transitions can be catalysts for insecurity and self-doubt. They make us question our life choices or capability for our roles. When we don’t have answers about outcomes, we can be thrown into a panic.

Oxytocin and its Role in Mental and Physical Health

Oxytocin is released into the bloodstream when you cuddle with your partner, flirt, or have a deep conversation with someone. Some people describe a feeling of warmth or tingling, particularly around the chest.

It is the same hormone released during bonding with an infant or when petting an animal, and it acts as a natural stress reliever, calming the amygdala, the brain’s fear and aggression center. Oxytocin’s influence extends beyond emotions, with research indicating it can regulate blood pressure, facilitate wound healing, and play a part in childbirth and sexual arousal.

Beyond its calming and physical effects, oxytocin is a cornerstone of social connection. It plays a central role in social cognition, boosting self-awareness and confidence. It fosters feelings of empathy, making it easier to connect with others. Interestingly, the ways we perceive ourselves and others seem to be intertwined, sharing some of the same brain pathways that oxytocin influences.

Ways to Naturally Boost Oxytocin and Regulate Emotion

When we are stressed or feeling low, we can benefit from engaging in self-care activities like going to the gym, getting more sleep, or eating healthier. During a particularly challenging period, a deeper sense of relief is possible by engaging in oxytocin-releasing activities. Try one or several of the following strategies consistently:

• Get out in nature. Whether it's gardening, hiking, or sitting by water, nature sparks wonder and healing.
• Touch more. Hugs, massages, and intimacy can activate pressure receptors, promoting oxytocin release.
• Soak in sunlight and warmth. Sunlight boosts vitamin D, which is linked to oxytocin, and saunas or steam baths enhance relaxation.
• Try somatic meditation. A mindfulness and concentration practice that provides an inward focus activates and soothes the parasympathetic nervous system.
• Eat vitamin C-rich foods. Oranges, lemons, parsley, and peppers help stimulate the secretion of oxytocin into your bloodstream. Start the day with a glass of water and lemon juice or add parsley and peppers to your salads.
• Be kind and acknowledge others’ kindnesses. Expressing your appreciation for others and volunteering trigger feelings of empathy and compassion and a sense of faith in the greater good. Witnessing others’ kindnesses can heighten a sense of well-being.
• Laugh. Laughter is great medicine! It promotes joy, connection, and overall happiness.

• Get social. Engaging in group activities, like sports clubs, fitness and art classes, or religious gatherings, can boost oxytocin, promoting a sense of collaboration and group harmony.

• Move your body. Staying active through walking, yoga, or dance can reduce stress, particularly if done in a group or in a natural space.
• Connect deeply. Meals and conversations with loved ones increase bonding and oxytocin.
• Turn off your screens. Instead of doomscrolling or online shopping, take a conscious screen break and be present. Write in a journal, walk outside, or call a friend.
• Listen to calming music. Slow melodies may promote relaxation and increase oxytocin. Singing with others, like a choir, can enhance connection and mood.
• Try acupuncture. By stimulating specific points in the body, acupuncture may activate neural pathways that promote the release of oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a powerful tool for building resilience and fostering happiness. While the effects of oxytocin may not be immediate, research suggests that consistently practicing positive habits can gradually elevate levels of this key hormone.

Incorporating these practices into your daily life can bring about a new sense of positivity and awareness for you and create a ripple effect of happiness and connectedness in the lives of those around you.

Jana Wu a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor, an Internationally Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, and a Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor with a master’s degree in social work from Smith College. Jana specializes in treating post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, and co-occurring disorders.at Mountainside.