I never considered going on a cruise but now I'm a convert

Tui's perfectly-formed Marella cruise ships are gliding around the Mediterranean giving holiday-makers the best of both worlds

It was once the exclusive privilege of the very rich, but now is an increasingly popular, affordable and accessible kind of holiday for all ages and generations.

A cruise ship holiday still has the old glamorous image, but has become a huge part of the travel industry, with mega cruise ships taking more than 6,000 people at a time around Europe, the Caribbean and south east Asia.

I’ve never been on a cruise before and, to be honest, had never even considered it, so I jumped at the chance to experience a week on board one, and wholeheartedly threw myself into everything that was on offer - except for the climbing wall.

There are cruise ships calling regularly from the port terminal in Avonmouth, and obviously Southampton is not too far away, but there is also another way to join a cruise - and save on the days of sailing south to the sunshine - flying from Bristol Airport.

We got an early flight from Bristol to Palma in Majorca with Tui and were whisked seamlessly onto one of Tui’s half a dozen or so ships that glide around the Mediterranean for a week or two weeks at a time. We got the airport bus just after four in the morning and before noon we were enjoying a glass of champagne on the balcony of our cabin on the Marella Discovery 2, overlooking the harbour in the capital of Majorca.

What was interesting is that, while Bristol’s Tui (and Easyjet) flights to Palma can link up with the cruise ships, it doesn’t seem that the people of Bristol or the West Country have quite realised it. On board for the next week, we heard plenty of Northern Irish, Yorkshire, Manchester, Brummie, Irish, Essex and Scottish accents, but no one else appeared to be from our part of the world.

My knowledge and experience of a cruise holiday was limited to the rest of my family by proxy. My sister is a bit of a cruise ship devotee - she’s been on a few with her family and must love it because she’s always booking the next one.

But then last year she persuaded our parents to go and my dad was not much of a fan, describing it as ‘like Butlins on sea’, and he didn't mean that in a good way. To be honest, 'Butlins on sea' sounded to me like a proper good laugh, so me and Mrs C pledged to get stuck in, even if it did turn out to be a bit ‘Hi-de-Hi’.

The other thing I knew about cruise holidays is those mega cruise ships have got a lot of attention and controversy recently. It seemed like the years either side of Covid saw each new cruise ship launched more mind-bogglingly bigger than the last. But my fear that it would be just too overwhelming to be on a ship with 8,000 other people was unfounded.

Because Marella Discovery 2 wasn't a mega cruise ship, it was the perfect size. Launched 30 years ago, it was originally one of Royal Caribbean’s first generation cruise ships, before they went all mega-sized in the 2000s and 2010s. It was refurbished and refreshed and has been sailing around the Mediterranean for Marella for the past few years.

There’s a maximum of 1,830 passengers in 918 cabins and 11 decks but it doesn’t feel huge. There’s two pools - one indoor and one outdoor - a gym, a big pub, a live music venue, a theatre (more of that later), a health spa, a little shopping centre, one big buffet restaurant, three small and bougie premium restaurants and two large table service restaurants, with various other little snack places and cafes dotted around. And finally, last but not least, a good selection of bars by the pool, above the pool, in the atrium, above the atrium, behind the atrium, in fact, all over.

That’s not to say, however, that one of the stereotypes of cruise ships - that everyone just gets drunk all the time - was true at all, at least not on the Coastal Gems trip we were on. In fact, I didn’t see a single person who had obviously had too much to drink at all, which was actually surprising.

We set off that evening with a launch party on the pool deck - lots of live music, singing and silly games - and the first day was at sea, which gave us time and space to explore the boat and settle in.

Our cabin was very nice - snug but not too small - and the standard of a mid-range modern, clean hotel. The balcony was the best bit - and obviously there’s a premium for that - so if you’re only planning on only using the cabin to sleep in, and don’t mind having no windows, a cheaper inside cabin would be just as good.

The second morning, we arrived in La Spezia on Italy’s Ligurian coast, and it was a bit of a lightbulb moment as the wonders of a cruise holiday were suddenly revealed.

Obviously, I knew the theory that we would be sailing around calling in different ports, but the reality of it was that we were basically in a big and fun hotel with lots going on, but instead of having the same beach or the same town outside each day, it was a different town, different country and a world of possibilities. Ahhh, I thought as I had breakfast watching the sun rise over the Italian coast, I get it now.

Some people stayed on board all day, most people ventured into the port town and had a look around, and many - about 12 coachloads - went on one of the several official excursions organised by Marella.

These obviously cost extra too - but are well worth it. You get a coach, a guide, and get to see much more than a nice port town that’s obviously been geared up for the regular arrival of cruise ships. Even more, being on an official one gave peace of mind - there was always the fear of missing the time to be back on board.

La Spezia is within striking distance of Tuscany, Pisa and Florence, and we opted for the excursion which was just a coach to Florence, and a nice day there. We’d never been. We got more than ‘just a coach’, we had a guide pointing things out about the Tuscan countryside all the way along the motorway.

Florence was stunning but way too hot - around 40degC (that’s over 100F in old money). Later excursions from different ports weren’t quite as hot, but just as enjoyable.

The best was the next - the following morning we woke up in Propriano, a small town on the south west coast of Corsica, and headed onto a coach to Bonifacio - an absolutely incredible clifftop medieval fortress city. I'd never even heard of the place before, but it was stunning.

We got off the coach, onto a charter boat for a view of it from the sea, then onto a little tourist train to take us up the cliffside to the town itself. I would live there tomorrow if I could, it was one of my favourite places I’ve ever been.

The extra value comes from having a brilliant local guide. In Corsica, it was a really interesting older German chap who was so informative that, by the return journey back on the coach, he was explaining to us the origins of the human race.

The third excursion from Cannes saw us pretend to be rich and famous as we sipped our drinks and people watched on the prom in St Tropez, and the fourth saw us head off from Marseille to the lovely little city of Avignon.

These were early starts and long days, but we were always back in time for dinner, a drink and a show, quiz or live band. There was always something going on, and the ship’s entertainment team were actually brilliant.

I did wonder how much ‘Hi-de-Hi’-like this aspect of it was going to be, especially after talking to my cynical old dad. I don’t know what all this stuff was like on the much bigger cruise ship the rest of my family were on, but the quality of the entertainment was surprisingly good.

All of it was excellent, some of it was brilliant. Each night there was a different show - just 45 minutes to an hour in the big theatre - of singing and dancing. I went on board thinking it was going to be so bad it was funny and good - and I’m someone pretty much allergic to musical theatre as a thing.

But in actual fact, the leading stars of these shows would not look or sound out of place on the West End stage, the two lead dancers you could imagine as professionals on Strictly, it was that good. They sang, they danced, they did incredible costume changes, it was great fun, top quality entertainment. One lad, Caolan, should be a star of stage and screen already, he was so talented.

The entertainment overall was family-friendly, very mainstream and, maybe a bit old-fashioned I guess, but in a good way - there was something for everyone and the standard was top drawer. The quizzes and games in the pub and on deck were a lot more tongue-in-cheek and Butlins-like, but we threw ourselves into them with gusto.

For a couple of the days in port we found ourselves next to or near other cruise ships, including at one point, the ninth biggest cruise ship in the world - an Italian one. It dwarfed our little 11-deck ferry, and I winced looking at it, I would easily get lost on that one, and not just because all the signs would be in Italian.

No, the Marella Discovery 2 was about the perfect size. Not too small that everything was overcrowded, you had to eat at the same place each time and there wasn't much to do, but not too big that it was overwhelming and impersonal, and not one of those mega-cruise ships that use the CO2 emissions of a small country every time they set sail.

Life on board was great - much better than a 'hotel on a boat'. There’s the 'Navigate', Marella 'Cruise Control’ app for your phone to easily check out what’s on where, and what’s on the menus in each restaurant, you get a little newsletter each night outlining what tomorrow will bring, and a keycard which opens your cabin door and also is swiped for all the drinks in the bars and orders in the restaurant.

Now, it’s all-inclusive, and that’s just lush to be able to sit by the pool and drink pina coladas all afternoon in the sunshine, but there’s also a premium drinks package to consider too. I’m not going to recommend whether you get it or not - it basically means you get for free a ‘second drinks menu’ with more choice for drinks you’d otherwise have to pay £3 or £4 for.

You’d have to do the maths yourselves, knowing how much you’re going to put away to decide if it’s worth it. As a guide, you get Strongbow on the all-inclusive, but the premium gives you all the Bulmers you could want. That’s the difference.

The little extras make this hotel on a ship much better than a hotel on a ship. The cabin attendants appeared to be always around and were lovely and helpful. The food was really very nice.

The two table service restaurants included in the trip were lovely, and we also pushed the boat out (sorry!) and dined at one of the three premium restaurants. There’s a surf and turf place, a sushi place and a pan-Asian cuisine restaurant.

The choices for veggies and vegans on board generally weren’t massive, although anywhere is going to seem limited when you come from Bristol, but we went to Kora La, the Asian restaurant. It was so very good.

The second lightbulb moment I had came near the end of the cruise. After four pretty tiring days of excursions by day and entertainment and fun by night, we were pretty knackered, so the last day enjoyed pottering around the Catalan city of Tarragona, before rounding off the cruise with a couple’s massage in the spa.

As all the weariness of a full-on week was squeezed out of me, I realised that, actually, the best thing about the cruise was that you could make your own version of it.

You didn’t have to get involved in all the fun and games, shows and live music. Someone could go on the same cruise and have a completely different experience. They could find a quiet spot on a different deck and sunbathe while reading a book, before eating in a nice restaurant, and sampling whatever port city we’d arrived at, before joining a crafting session in the library and having a treatment in the spa.

They could do the whole thing as a health retreat If you wanted. You could do the whole thing as a tour of medieval Mediterranean history. You could even do the whole thing as an activity holiday - climbing wall, swimming, golf, and hire bikes from the ship every day in port and cycle round all day.

So I’m a cruise ship convert - you really do get the best of all worlds. For more information on Marella Discovery 2 packages, click here.

Marella Discovery 2 - Coastal Gems

We flew from Bristol to Palma and spent seven days on board the Marella Discovery 2, on the Coastal Gems tour, starting in Majorca, and sailing to:

Day 1 Palma

Day 2 - at sea

Day 3 - La Spezia, Italy

Day 4 - Propriano, Corsica

Day 5 - Cannes, France

Day 6 - Marseille, France

Day 7 - Tarragona, Catalonia

Excursions:

• Florence on Your Own - £44.00 per person
• Bonifacio by Land and Sea - £136.00 per person
• St Tropez & Port Grimaud - £63 per person
• Avignon - £39 per person