Let’s Appraise the Rings of Power

You cannot miss that The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power is a show about rings of power, since the phrase is uttered — with celebration, then portent, and finally despair — approximately 87 times over seven episodes. Rings of power. Rings of power. Rings of power, get it?

Perhaps that’s a slight exaggeration, but it’s hard not to overstate the degree to which TROP cares about its titular accessories. Yes, they’re narratively important: Sauron’s manipulation of Celebrimbor into crafting rings for dwarves and men drives this season’s drama, and Charlie Vickers and Charles Edwards are great together. And TROP clearly wants to evoke J.R.R. Tolkien’s ring lore, as in how Galadriel calls hers by its name, Nenya. But what’s missing in TROP is a consideration of the rings themselves: how they look and what it means for the characters who wear them that they look the way they do.

Television is a visual medium, so TROP should be able to convey the rings’ significance on its own visual terms without relying on supplementary Tolkien reading. Give us aesthetics, give us beauty, give us a sense of why these specific rings were crafted for their specific wearers! I crave details past just “a circular form would be ideal”! I want to know the nitty-gritty about how Celebrimbor, the great elven smith, went about this task; I want a Project Runway–type look at his process. These are the most important pieces of jewelry to ever exist in Middle-earth; give me a little behind the scenes! Is Celebrimbor more of a Harry Winston or a David Yurman? Are the elves’ rings elegant and the dwarves’ rings chunky because of certain physical stereotypes about those races? Where is Celebrimbor sourcing his jewels from? Are these mines unionized? How does he know which size to make these things? And, uh, are the rings ugly? Let’s discuss.

First, the elves’ rings. Made primarily by Celebrimbor, using the mithril Elrond called “our only salvation” but later the source of Elrond’s skepticism and distrust. Here’s a reminder of what the elven rings looked like in Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring:

And here’s the TROP versions: Narya, with a red stone, on Círdan; Vilya, with a blue stone, on High King Gil-galad; and Nenya, with a clear stone, on Galadriel. (So far in the series, only Galadriel’s ring has been identified.)

It’s kind of weird that Narya and Vilya are gold instead of silver, right? Why not make Narya and Nenya, given their similar names, share a base metal? I also don’t understand why Círdan and Gil-galad’s rings have inset gems while Galadriel’s has a gumball-style setting. This woman is a commander and a warrior; she needs a ring that isn’t guaranteed to snag on everything as she’s slicing and dicing her way through some Uruk foes. 

Look at this thing, it’s huge! The proportions just don’t make sense. 

I’m also a little sad that Gil-galad abandons all his other “marked down at Free People” accoutrements once he gets Vilya. Look at this before-and-after — what’s the point of being High King if you can’t get your Liberace on? 

Credit where it’s due: Círdan shaving his face with a giant iridescent shell while wearing Narya is an incredible image. Ben Daniels’s charming smirk has not convinced me, though. The elves’ rings could have been more elegant or at least more uniform in look. 

Onward to the dwarf-lords in their halls of stone. (Well, really, only King Durin III, the sole ring-bearing dwarf-lord we know somewhat well.) Celebrimbor’s design brief for these rings, made with more of Khazad-dûm’s mithril and Annatar’s direct involvement, seems to have been … Ring Pops? They are monstrous, and I love them. 

Here’s what I appreciate about the dwarven rings: They feel of a type. If Celebrimbor were a fashion designer and he put all these out in a collection together, you’d look at them and immediately understand that they’re the work of one mind. They’re coherently designed (all gold, all roughly the same size and shape, all with a similar triangular top piece) while still being distinct thanks to the individual gem choices. Their dramatic pyramid heads and rectangular shoulders resemble mountain peaks, a point that TROP explicitly makes with a beautiful fade edit:

I appreciate the sense of menace in these rings. The jewels are so big! The band is so thick! Amid all of Durin’s ring-stacking, your eyes go directly toward this neon-blue confection. There might be a bit of judgment-as-causation here, as if Celebrimbor made the dwarves’ rings so flashy because they have hoarder tendencies that become flat-out greed under Sauron’s evil influence. But at least there’s also clear visual intention, and I admit that I would absolutely wear this thing. Infinity Stones, you have nothing on the dwarf-lords’ rings! 

Last up, the rings that drive Celebrimbor (and Eregion) to ruin: nine rings for men, made with Sauron’s blood. When Celebrimbor correctly said that men are too weak to handle the rings? Both a fun opportunity for Charles Edwards’s side-eye and a reminder for LOTR fans that the ringwraiths are coming!

It’s frustrating, though, that the “nine rings for mortal men doomed to die” story line took up so much space in the back half of the season while also delivering the most nondescript jewelry. Is that because Celebrimbor really doesn’t want to do this? We get a slight sense of that when we see some of his rejected designs. They’re not his best: 

Maybe these rings look so similar to what Celebrimbor already crafted for the elves and the dwarves because he just can’t work up the same level of excitement for humans. (Same; Númenor is the weakest part of this show.) Or maybe they lack personality because Celebrimbor doesn’t really seem to know any humans; how do you make a couture piece for a client you’ve never met? Whatever the reasoning here, it’s inarguable that the human rings are gaudy and gross.

The gold setting and the aqua stone clash; plus, the prongs are too big. 

There’s no guiding principle between all these disparate band widths, metal shades, and gemstones; it’s like one of those old grocery-store vending machines with toy rings exploded on his workstation. Does Celebrimbor secretly have controlling ownership in Oriental Trading Co.? Is Eregion the party-favor-manufacturing area of the elven lands?

And whom is this faux-Gothic ring with a jet-black stone for? Are Criss Angel, The Curse’s Dougie, or Johnny Depp secretly Nazgûl? You’re better than this Hot Topic offering, Celebrimbor.

I, however, am not. If any jewelers are reading, I’m a size nine! I look best in gold! And if you give me just a little bit more context about your bauble than The Rings of Power did this season, I’ll willingly accept it as my precious.