Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season-Premiere Recap: Surf and Turf

Below Deck Sailing Yacht
Ibiza, Baby!
Season 5 Episode 1
Editor’s Rating ★★★
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Before we get into the recap, we should acknowledge that shortly after the last season of Below Deck Sailing Yacht aired, the show was accused of covering up First Officer Gary’s sexual misconduct toward production crew and cast members. Based on the behavior of his that has made it to air, it’s easily believable, and it’s incredibly disappointing that his voice is the first we hear in the season preview. Gary’s messiness makes good TV, but if the cost is the safety of those around him, I would rather have boring TV.

At the very least, the Below Deck franchise could institute a drink capping policy, and there is a sound bite of Glenn about “two drink limits,” although that doesn’t seem to be coming from Bravo. This new season was filmed last summer, likely before the allegations were made public, but they clearly haven’t edited Gary out as a result. There’s a slim chance we could see them react to the news on the show in real time, but that seems unlikely since it would paint the series itself in a rough light. Going into the new season, Gary says he wants to be less emotional and work on his leadership skills. I think we’d all prefer him to work on respecting women.

Speaking of women Gary has disrespected, Chief Stew Daisy is back as well. She doesn’t want to be around Gary and is not looking forward to working with him again. Daisy admits that “maybe” she was distracted by her personal life (the Gary/Colin love triangle) last season. In the first team meeting, she emphasizes everyone helping each other out — but mainly the exterior helping the interior — and things are already icy between her and Gary. How much did Bravo have to raise Captain Glenn’s salary to get him to work with these two together again? 

The rest of the crew is new to Parsifal III, as is much of the ship’s engine. The chef is Cloyce, who is proudly 22 with the confidence to match. A quick timeline: at age 4 he started cooking for his parents, at 10 he did cooking competitions, at 14 got his first restaurant job, at 15 learned cooking in France, went to culinary high school, post-high school cooked at a Michelin star restaurant in New York, and this will be his third charter season. In case he hasn’t already hit us over the head with his credentials, Young Sheldon decides to show off for the cameras by cutting an onion blindfolded.

Replacing Colin (you’ll be missed, level-headed king!) as the engineer is Davide, an Italian who has worked on super yachts for ten-plus years. He knows Gary from partying, which is not a great sign. Our deckhands are Keith from Melbourne, who’s worked on smaller sailboats for five years, and Emma, who has only been in yachting for a year. Before we’ve really learned anything about Keith himself, he tells us his mom breastfed him on safari, and there are photos to prove it. Good for her. She seems like she’d get along with Emma, who is 34 and just trying to live her best life. 

The stewardesses are Diana and Danni, and they’re both 23. All three stews having D names might kill me. Diana comes from working as a housekeeper on Russian boats, which she can’t say much about because they got seized by the FBI. I have so many questions, and she’s totally cavalier about it: “I’ve met the FBI. That’s pretty cool.” Diana started in the service industry at her parent’s coffee shop in Portugal as a kid. She’s single, but so far, she’s not interested in any of the guys. “Maybe the Stockholm syndrome will kick in.” She tells Danni this as they clean the cabins, a first-episode rite of passage. Danni thinks Keith and Gary are cute. Danni’s from South Africa, a self-proclaimed flirt, and confident in all stew skills. Daisy doesn’t assign ranks, which worked great last season, and she doesn’t want a repeat of Ashley’s hierarchy obsession in season three. 

As the crew finishes up their first day prepping the boat, Daisy and Gary attempt to hash it out. Daisy tearfully explains that after she and Colin broke up, she needed Gary and is still upset he ignored her when she asked to talk to him. Gary says he took a step back because he didn’t want to create more drama but now sees how he was a bad friend. He says he should’ve been there for her and apologizes. Daisy appreciates the apology but doesn’t expect it to be the last time he hurts her. Given their history of drama and secrets between seasons, it’s impossible to know if this is an accurate depiction of events or feelings. 

Danni gets to work flirting with Keith right away, offering a lick of a drink off her finger. Keith professionally declines. He tells us he thinks she’s cute but wants to take anything slow. As the crew has drinks on the boat, Danni suggests they play fuck-marry-kill among the crew. She’s coming in hot, but Daisy is game. Daisy would marry Davide, fuck Keith, and kill Gary. Danni uses the game to make her interests known: she’d fuck Gary and marry Keith. Emma says she’d marry Cloyce because they made mayo together earlier, but when Cloyce and Keith joke they’d kill her, she understandably doesn’t love it. This is truly an HR-nightmare icebreaker; I can only imagine the toxic workplace environment to come.

At the preference sheet meeting, Gary moves so he and Daisy aren’t sitting next to each other. Glenn seems entertained by this, and I rethink that anyone had to convince him to return. Glenn loves the drama! 

The first primaries are Dr. Contessa and Dr. Scott, whose group of friends have multiple dietary restrictions. Cloyce jokes about a guest’s shellfish allergy: “I just hope he lives.” Brutally, no one laughs. Daisy is nervous that Cloyce is talking a big game. He also tells her he hopes to retire before he’s her age (36). No matter what age you are, this is insulting to hear. His smoked salmon crostini hors d’oeuvres look nice enough, and he asks her if they can avoid taking specific orders, so he seems to know what can make his job easier. For dinner, the guests have requested surf and turf, so he thinks ahead, asking Daisy to ask one of the guests if a chicken substitute is okay. Unfortunately, all the guests want to customize their orders when they hear this. Daisy has to break out a pen and paper and apologizes to Cloyce about it. He’s stressed because he knows the first dinner sets the tone for the season. 

We get our first sail of the season, and I can’t wait to see these same shots of things rolling and drawers opening every time they sail. Emma has trouble dropping the anchor and Gary quickly realizes she has less experience than he thought. He sees it as an opportunity to prove his leadership by training her. Neither deckhand has driven a jet tender before, so it definitely seems like he can’t sit back as much as he did last season. 

While the first crew night was tame, the first night of charter is less so. The theme is lace and leather, so the stews break out masks and whips for decor. Danni teases Keith with the whip. He goes along with the bantering but doesn’t want to cross any professional lines. For dinner, we don’t see any appetizers or first course, which seems like a red flag for Cloyce. For the surf and turf main, he missed counting one lobster and hurries to make the plate while sending up the rest. A guest sends his steak back for being too well done, so now he has to remake that as well. Glenn’s watching this all go down, worried. Cloyce thinks it’s Daisy’s fault — the steak was sitting, and I guess he expected her to micromanage him more? — while Daisy thinks it’s entirely his fault for not getting the correct orders on the plates. Upstairs, the guests dig in while two are still waiting for their food. To be served next week … 

From The Galley

• Diana swears by tucking her shirt into her underwear. She made me laugh the most this episode. Thank you, Diana. 

• The guests ask if some unlabeled candies are edibles, which seems like an insane assumption. Did one of them experience an accidental pot brownie sitcom shenanigan in real life? It’s also insane they call normal gummies “virgin.” 

• In true form, Gary can’t go one episode without speaking Spanish and is far too excited to tell the guests that Z is pronounced “th.” Will we survive the number of times people say “Ibitha?”