Blur drummer reveals ex-wife had to travel to Dignitas to die alone

Blur drummer Dave Rowntree has slammed 'psychopathic' laws on assisted death as he opened up for the first time about how his terminally ill ex-wife flew to Switzerland and felt forced to end her life alone earlier this year.

The 60-year-old expressed his frustration over current laws that mean some people with life-ending illness are faced with the 'brutal' dilemma of wanting to end their lives, but not being able to legally ask others to help them.

His comments come just weeks before a new bill is published proposing changes to the law on assisted dying in England and Wales under strict controls. 

Assisted death, where one person helps another to end their lives, is currently permitted in Switzerland, as well as several US states, Australia and New Zealand. 

But Rowntree believes it should also be allowed in the UK. 

In March, his ex-wife Paola Marra, to whom he was married in the 1990s, pleaded for a change to the UK's current 'cruel law' in a recorded message before ending her life at controversial Swiss clinic Dignitas.

The 53-year-old said she felt she had no other choice after fighting breast and bowel cancer.

The former music industry and charity sector worker teamed up with renowned photographer Rankin before she travelled to speak out about assisted dying.

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In a poignant film released after her death, Ms Marra - who lived in East Finchley, North London - said: 'When you watch this, I will be dead. I'm choosing to seek assisted dying because I refuse to let a terminal illness dictate the terms of my existence.

'The pain and suffering can become unbearable. It's a slow erosion of dignity, the loss of independence, the stripping away of everything that makes life worth living.

'Assisted dying is not about giving up. In fact, it's about reclaiming control. It's not about death. It's about dignity. 

'It's about giving people the right to end their suffering on their own terms, with compassion and respect.

'So as you watch this, I am dead. But you watching this could help change the laws around assisted dying.'

In an accompanying open letter to party leaders at Westminster, Ms Marra said that, due to the current law, she had to travel to Dignitas alone because she did not want her loved ones 'to be questioned by the police or get into trouble'.

The Canadian, who was originally from British Columbia but had lived in London for more than 35 years, wrote: 'I resent that I don't have a choice. I think it's unfair and cruel.

'And for so many dying people who can't afford to pay an average of £15,000 to travel to Dignitas, this cruel law will force them to endure a painful death, or drive them to take their own lives.'

Speaking to The Guardian for the first time about her death, Rowntree said the law as it stood was unfair to those who are suffering and terminally ill.

He said: 'This is psychopathic where we are now, because the whole point of this is to try and make things easier for the real victim in this – the terminally ill person.'

Rowntree, who is a trained lawyer and practiced for five years before pursuing a music career, added that any change to the law should operate under tight restrictions.

'I certainly wouldn't support any bill that allows anyone to kill anyone else,' he said.

For Rowntree, a change in the law would also mean that a person could 'die with dignity' and not face having to be on their own, as his ex-wife was, because she feared there may have been repercussions for him had he accompanied her to Dignitas.

At present, a person suspected of assisting a death can face up to 14 years in prison. 

This results in people who wish to end their lives 'creeping around like a criminal'.

He added:  Not only that, but when the time comes, if they do decide to die with dignity, and end their life in a time of their choosing, and in a way of their choosing, they have to do it unsupported by anyone, on their own, not able to hold anyone's hand, not able to hug somebody and say goodbye.'

Terminally-ill broadcaster Esther Rantzen is an advocate for reform, as are a swathe of other well-known names including author Terry Pratchett and actors Susan Sarandon and Patrick Stewart.

But critics say any reform could open the way for 'state-sanctioned killing'.

Labour MP Kim Leadbeater's private member's bill to legalise assisted dying in England and Wales will get its second reading, involving an MPs' vote, on 29 November.