Etiquette guru reveals the do's and don'ts of using the London Tube

Foreign tourists in London – and visitors from elsewhere in the UK – you've been using the city's underground railway system all wrong.

But it's understandable, since none of the 'rules' of using the London Underground – or 'Tube' – have been formally written down.

Until now.

Etiquette expert William Hanson has clarified the do's and don'ts in his new book, Just Good Manners, warning that those who don't follow them risk experiencing 'the spine-tingling wrath of a British tut'.

William begins by explaining that the first sign of a newbie is 'waiting for the ticket barriers to close before tapping their payment card on the Oyster pad'. This, he says, inconveniences passengers behind.

'Be a pro and know that so long as the LED has gone orange, you can tap away, regardless of the position of the barriers,' says William.

Next, the duke of decorum says, is to strictly observe the signposted rule on the escalators to 'stand on the right, walk on the left'.

'If you do not, you will be considered one level down from a serial killer,' warns William.

Once on board, 'only talk to people you know in hushed tones', stresses William.

But don't talk at all if 'you are pressed up against others'.

Hungry? Eating on the Tube is to be approached with extreme caution.

William says: 'Do not eat anything smelly. Ideally nothing bigger or more potent than a breath mint.'

How about eye contact?

'Only make eye contact with people you don't know if there's some minor drama,' says William, such as 'an overkeen busker, a drunk or an argument between other passengers'.

He adds: 'Unless such an instance occurs, the floor, your telephone and the overhead adverts for sending money abroad are the only acceptable places to stare.'

Any other pointers?

Yes.

Music, videos and podcasts 'are to be enjoyed only with your headphones'.

And during busy periods, says William, 'mind your baggage'.

He explains: 'Backpacks should be held in front of you, rather than worn conventionally, and bags should definitely not be placed on empty seats. Place it on your lap or the floor.'

And, finally, 'stopping the doors from closing so your friend can catch up and join you does not make you a hero, it makes you a pillock of the highest order'.

'There is usually always a train shortly behind the one you're holding up with your kamikaze routine,' says William. 

For more from Mr Hanson visit his TikTok and Instagram profiles.

Just Good Manners – A Quintessential Guide to Courtesy, Charm, Grace and Decorum (Penguin Random House), is out now. It is billed as 'a witty and authoritative guide to British etiquette'.