I'm a Canadian living in London - here's what's weird about the UK

06 Oct 2024, 13:34 by Esther Marshall · Mail Online

‘When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life,’ said the writer Samuel Johnson.

And Canadian expat Christina Ford agrees.

Christina, 63, moved to London in 2016. But despite her love for her new life in the Big Smoke, there were a few things that took some getting used to.

Here, the lifestyle blogger (a-broad-in-london) and author of award-winning book In Search of Mr Darcy: Lessons Learnt in the Pursuit of Happily Ever After shares her thoughts on the good, the bad and the just plain strange in the UK.

She reveals her thoughts on the likes of door handles, unrefrigerated eggs, jaywalking, stop signs and public transport – and reveals the key British phrases visitors ‘need to know to keep out of trouble’.

Christina Ford (above) moved to London in 2016. But despite her love for her new life in the Big Smoke, there were a few things that took some getting used to. Here, the lifestyle blogger and author reveals her thoughts on the good, the bad and the just plain strange in the UK

WHAT ARE THE STRANGEST ASPECTS OF LIFE IN THE UK?

No door handles

‘Instead, there’s a prominent door pull to close the door behind you. But it’s the turning of the key that opens the door, not a door handle.’

Unrefrigerated eggs

‘In the UK, eggs could be anywhere in the grocery store, except where I normally find them, in the refrigerated section. Plus, you occasionally find a feather or two stuck to them, which I have to admit, kind of grossed me out the first time.'

No stop signs

Christina is pictured above at the Tower of London. She says the best way of getting around the capital is by public transport

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‘This could be lifesaving intel. When I say “no stop signs”, it’s not because they are replaced with traffic lights or roundabouts. Cars merely have to slow down, not legally stop, when approaching an intersection. Of course, there are some stop signs, but far less than you would think.’

The jaywalkers

‘Londoners will wait for a gap in traffic and then confidently dash across the street. This is important to note - just because the herd is moving, doesn’t mean all the cows are safe. Look up from your phone and pay attention when crossing the street.’

The obsession with football (soccer)

‘I thought British women over 50, that awesome demographic, would have as much interest in a Newcastle vs Manchester United football match as I do - that being none. I was wrong. Although gotta say, this girl loved Ted Lasso, but I've learnt that doesn’t count. And although the women are not quite the loud chanting, beer-raising, boisterous lad enthusiast, make no mistake this country is football crazy. And if one wants to fit in, you better get yourself an answer to the inevitable question, “Who's your team?”’

WHAT DOES THE UK DO WELL?

Public transport

‘Complain about it all you want, but most of the time it is the fastest and safest way to get around London.’

Queuing

’Standing in line for everything, and I mean everything.’

Would Christina recommend London as a place to live? She says: '‘Yes. As the saying goes, “He who is bored in London is bored with life”’

Mail delivery

‘Usually next day in the UK.’

Garbage pickup

‘Twice a week. Recycling once a week. (This varies depending on where in London you live.)’

Normalise drinking

‘Pub culture is socially acceptable and pretty much expected, versus hanging out in a local U.S bar. Still undecided if this is a good or bad thing.’

Talk about the weather

‘I mean, every day, all day’.

Art and theatre

‘All galleries and museums are free!’

So much greenery

Christina rightly points out that London has so many trees that it's technically a forest, which she thinks is 'just awesome'.

Would she recommend London as a place to Live?

‘Yes. As the saying goes, “He who is bored in London is bored with life.”’

HOW COULD THE UK IMPROVE?

More affordable housing

’For a single person with a decent wage, it is still almost impossible to afford a one-bedroom flat in London.’

Londoners should make eye contact

’Brits aren’t exactly known for being the most welcoming to strangers. They could be friendlier - and not just with our dogs.’

KEY BRITISH PHRASES YOU'LL 'NEED TO KNOW TO KEEP OUT OF TROUBLE'

Christina says: 'You would think moving from one English-speaking country to another, I’d be able to understand everything that’s said. Not so.'

• Don’t get your knickers in a twist

Meaning: Don’t get worked up about it.

• Did you just fluff?

Meaning: Did you fart?

• Meat and two veg

Meaning: A man’s private parts. Be careful ordering this from any British menu.

• On the pull

Meaning: Looking to have sex.

• Chat up

Meaning: Flirt.

• Up the duff

Meaning: Pregnant.

• Spend a penny / going for a slash

Meaning: To visit the bathroom.

• Stop being such a big girl’s blouse

Meaning: Stop being such a wimp.

• Chin wag

Meaning: A good, intense gossip session.

• Bob’s your uncle

Meaning: There you have it.

• I’ve got the hump

Meaning: Feeling grumpy for no real reason.

• Making a right pig's ear of something

Meaning: Totally screwed up.

• I’ll give you a bunch of fives

Meaning: You’re about to get punched.

• Plonker, pillock, tosser, twit, knob

Meaning: All words for ‘idiot’.

• It’s brass monkeys out

Meaning: It’s freezing outside.

• To go pear-shaped

Meaning: To go drastically wrong.

• I’m knackered

Meaning: I’m exhausted.

• Her majesty's pleasure

Meaning: In prison.

• He’s a bit dishy

Meaning: He’s hot.

• I’m p****d

Meaning: I’m drunk, not angry.

• Fortnight

Meaning: Two weeks (not the video game).

• I’m skint

Meaning: You’re picking up the check because they’re broke.

• Don’t get me wrong

Meaning: Brace yourself for passive-aggressive truth.

• I’ll put the kettle on

Meaning: Get ready for a long chat.

• Honestly, it’s fine

Meaning: A meltdown is imminent.

• Yeah, go on then

Meaning: Their night of drinking just got extended.