Martine McCutcheon announces life-changing diagnosis after being 'in complete denial'

Martine McCutcheon has announced a life-changing diagnosis after admitting she has been in "complete denial". the BBC EastEnders star opened up on the second episode of new podcast A Gentle Start: The Showercast' by Timotei this week.

The EastEnders and Love Actually star has spoken emotionally about the impact the secret health struggle has had on her career. The Love Actually star says she went into "complete denial" after being told she had ADD (attention deficit disorder) as she struggled to cope with the death of her brother.

She said: "I always felt there were certain things that I looked at differently, different things I struggled with compared to other people, but different things I found so easy, and I realised, when I got my ADD diagnosis, that I had spent so much time trying to be a square in a round circle, and it was exhausting.

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"It was so draining. It was just so hard. And in a way, I feel like I wasn't meant to find out, as sad as it was, because I did lose a lot of things in my life. I did struggle with a lot of things that I don't think I would have done necessarily.

"I think that if I'd have known before those four years ago that I had ADD, I don't know if I would have been able to have coped with it the way that I do now. I think, thank god people are being kinder and more knowledgeable about ADD and ADHD. People says, oh, everybody's got something these days - but I don't think it's these days. I think we've always been around but we all blossom in different ways, and we need different things to blossom. And it all made sense.

"At first I went into I went into denial, completely into denial, because my brother had passed away. I've been diagnosed with ME, and I just thought, I can't take this diagnosis on and whatever it means. I need to just keep going at life the way that I am.

"And in a way, I was kind of right. And then when I did finally look at it, I cried, I cried, cried and cried, I grieved, and it was just for if only I'd known how different things could have been, how much more with ease I would have been able to have done things.

"I do look back and see a lot of struggle with what I did. People just sort of think, oh, you know, she had the Midas touch. She'd do this, she'd do that. But I was always told by agents, why don't you just stick with one thing, because then you could go all the way to the top in it and stay there.

"Now I look back and I think, my God, it was a blessing that I couldn't, or didn't want to focus on the one thing."