BBC Strictly Come Dancing star Chris McCausland's heartbreaking fear after becoming a dad

Comedian Chris McCausland will be the first blind person to take part in Strictly Come Dancing in the show’s history but his disability has stopped him from achieving other goals in life, one of those was nearly fatherhood

Strictly Come Dancing’s Chris McCausland was ‘tormented’ and ‘terrified’ at the thought of having children and always wanted a girl rather than a boy for a heartbreaking reason.

Comedian Chris McCausland is making history as the first blind person to take part in the BBC talent show Strictly Come Dancing. Producers offered him and his professional partner an expert from an organisation teaching people with visual impairments to help coordinate training, but they decided against it. Chris, 47, told the Mirror they were happy to make mistakes and learn from each other and that he didn’t want any extra help that his fellow contestants weren’t getting. "They suggested it and I didn’t like the idea to be honest," he told us.

"In my opinion, the point of it is for my partner to learn how to teach me and me to learn a dance from her and that’s for us to figure it out together. We’ll make mistakes and we’ll have a laugh along the way and that’ll make for better VTs in the week, really." While he’s happy to ‘muddle through’ on the show, his disability has deeply affected him in personal areas of his life. Chris lost his sight 20 years ago between the ages of 16 and 22 years old due to retinitis pigmentosa, which he described as a "scary and embarrassing" time.

"When it started happening, it was scary and embarrassing. I found myself in difficult situations because I was reluctant to ask for help," he said. "I knew I would never be on a level playing field with everyone else. My eyesight deteriorated significantly while I was at university, and the technology available at that time wasn’t advanced enough, so I had to abandon my career path in web development."

Chris said that he didn’t want to do anything unless he could do it "properly", including playing football - and being a father. He’s now married to wife Patricia and they have a daughter Sophie, 10, but becoming a parent almost didn’t happen because of his fears. According to the Daily Mail, in an interview with Gyles Brandreth , Chris revealed the heart-wrenching reason he was "terrified" of fatherhood. He explained: "I was in such a dilemma about it because I knew I would regret not having kids, but the thought of having kids terrified me.

"The idea of being a parent and all of the things I was going to be unable to do properly. My dad, all the things he used to do with me as a kid, taking me to different places, and the time he put in helping me build things. You go "how am I going to be able to do those things - I'm not going to be a proper dad, I'm going to be a half dad'. That kind of really caused me a lot of torment in my head."

Chris also revealed the reason he convinced himself having a daughter would be better in his situation than if he had a son: "Weirdly, I think I wanted a girl because of that, because I figured if we got a girl I could be a loving dad, but some of the practical obligations that fall on dads they'd fall more on Patricia because she'd be a girl. There wouldn't be blokes' things that I would then not be able to take my son to. But being a dad has been amazing."

The star appeared in CBeebies series Me Too! as Rudi the market trader among many other TV shows including Have I Got News For, which he became a regular panellist on. Last year he was a contestant on reality show Scared of the Dark and this year his Saturday morning chatshow The Chris McCausland Show was launched on ITV.

Strictly Come Dancing begins on Saturday September 14 at 7.20pm.