'I'm a palliative care nurse - people always have same five regrets on their deathbed'

A nurse who cares for people who are dying has shared the top five regrets her patients have on their deathbeds and the thing they wish they had the courage to do before it's too late

Coming face to face with your own mortality puts a whole new perspective on life and can lead to regrets.

And now a pallative nurse who has worked with dying patients for years has revealed what people's final days are really like.

The expert says when people are coming to the end of their lives they experience a variety of emotions, including remorse and eventually acceptance. However, she also said people tend to share the same five regrets.

Spending the last few weeks with patients who are dying has led the nurse to gain valuable insight into the mindset of people who are dying. The medic, who is from Massachusetts, US, shared her insights anonymously in a blog post, and it makes for emotional reading.

"People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality," she wrote. "I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them."

And according to the nurse, the most common regret she sees is when people wish they'd had the courage to live the life they wanted, rather than the life others expected of them. Most people realised they hadn't accomplished half of their dreams and died regretting some of the choices they made, according to her.

Another common regret people shared was that they wished they hadn't worked as hard, as they missed out on key milestones with their kids or partners.

Dying patients also said how when they looked back they wish they'd had the courage to express their feelings. Many people admitted suppressing their emotions in order to keep peace with others but that meant they had settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

Many also regretted losing touch with friends and wished they had given friendships the time and effort they deserved. Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and say they lost touch because they were so caught up in their own lives.

Meanwhile, many of the nurse's patients did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice, saying they wished they had allowed themselves to live a happier, more fulfilling life. "Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content," the nurse wrote. "When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

"When you are dying, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying!"