Liam Payne's tragic final words reveal deep struggles before his untimely death

Liam Payne's demons have been laid bare in the wake of his tragic death last week, with the former One Direction star's final words revealing the true extent of his inner torment

Liam Payne's battle with mental health was a long and arduous one, culminating tragically when he took his own life. He had previously confessed that loneliness had "nearly killed me a couple of times".

Yet it was the chilling last words he spoke just moments before his deadly plunge from a hotel balcony that laid bare the depth of his struggles, reports OK! In a poignant exchange with a young woman at the same resort, Liam reportedly confided, "I used to be in a boyband that's why I'm so f**ked up." The woman, who chose to remain anonymous under the alias Rebecca, engaged in casual chat with Liam merely 30 minutes prior to his untimely death. Positioned in the hotel's foyer, Rebecca observed, "It was so clear he wanted someone to recognise him there was something a bit desperate about him."

She recounted how he introduced himself to her group unbidden, eagerly saying, "Yes, I'm Liam," and then extended an invitation to join him in an elevator, adding, "I love a cuddle."

Later on, Liam reappeared in the lobby to check his emails on his laptop. Upon reading one that evidently displeased him, Rebecca reports that he exclaimed, "F**k this s**t, mate! " and hurled the laptop to the ground.

"I went over and asked, 'Are you OK? ' But he just kind of grunted," she remembered. "Then he said, 'I used to be in a boyband. That's why I'm so f**ked up.'".

After he'd gone, Rebecca shared that one of Liam's entourage came over to offer an apology for him, remarking, "I'm sorry, he just gets so high sometimes."

Liam's battles with substance abuse have been no secret, as he's previously discussed his struggles with drugs and alcohol. His time at the zenith of fame with One Direction brought not only adulation but also a sense of seclusion, which led him down a path of alcohol-induced chaos a period during which he confessed to hitting "rock bottom".

In a candid conversation on Steven Bartlett's The Diary Of A CEO podcast in 2021, he opened up about his battle with alcoholism, acknowledging it "was a problem" that had escalated to being "really, really severe" due to the intense pressures of stardom. Liam recounted the security measures taken at the height of the band's success: "When we were in the band, the best way to secure us because of how big it got was just to lock us in our rooms," he explained.

"And, of course, what's in the room? Minibar. So at a certain point I thought, 'Well, I'm going to have a party for one.' And that just seemed to carry on throughout many years of my life. It's wild, but it was like the only way you could get frustration out in the day."

In a 2019 interview, Liam reflected on his time in the band, Liam confessed, "It's almost like putting the Disney costume on before you step up on stage and underneath the Disney costume I was pissed quite a lot of the time because there was no other way to get your head around what was going on. It just got a little bit toxic."

His struggles with addiction worsened after One Direction's indefinite hiatus in 2016. Despite initial promise, his solo career stalled, and while Harry Styles was selling out stadiums, Liam's substance abuse spiralled out of control.

In 2019, Liam recalled, "I spent a lot of time drinking to escape the crazy world that I had created for myself," admitting he was  "getting into really bad, bad situations. And I hit a peak moment where I knew the drinking was going to get me."

He eventually hit rock bottom, realising his drinking would consume him. The pandemic exacerbated his struggles, with Liam describing it as "the worst thing in the world" for him.

During lockdown, he would often drink, take pills, and watch TV alone on his sofa, struggling to hide his intoxication during Zoom calls with his son, Bear. Discussing his past personal troubles, Liam admitted: "I put on so much weight. I was eating badly. There were a few pictures of me, all bloated out. I call it my pills and booze face. I just didn't like myself very much."

Although he was candid about his struggles, after his passing, an insider claimed: "He tried to downplay them at times," and observed that "His demons were much worse than he let on."

Additionally, Liam had openly shared his battles with suicidal thoughts during the darkest times, revealing he had seriously contemplated taking his own life.

In an honest confession to Steven Bartlett in 2021, Liam said: "You would never have seen it. I'm very good at hiding it," In 2019, while featuring in the TV show, Ant Middleton and Liam Payne: Straight Talking, he expressed his despair, stating: "For some certain circumstances I'm quite lucky to be here still. There are times when that level of loneliness and people getting into you every day, it's like, 'When will this end? ' That almost nearly killed me a couple of times."

Taking proactive steps to safeguard his mental wellbeing, Liam announced in July 2023 that he had taken a break from social media following previous embarrassing remarks about his One Direction colleagues on a podcast. He shared via a YouTube video: "I just needed to take a little bit of time out for myself actually, because I kind of became somebody who I didn't really recognise any more. And I'm sure you guys didn't either. I was in bad shape up until that point and I was really happy to kind of put a stopper to life and work."

The news broke that he had covertly spent 100 days in a Louisiana rehabilitation centre, dedicating his time to art, poetry, and maintaining his sobriety. Tragically, this period of clarity was ephemeral.

In the wake of Liam's passing, an outpouring of grief swept across social media as countless fans and acquaintances expressed their sorrow. Longtime friend and hair stylist Luke Benson took to the internet, stating, "I can't believe it. Some of us were lucky enough to see the best version of you. I'm so sorry. You didn't choose this side of fame."

Moreover, "He was so kind. But he was so ill in ways he couldn't beat, leading to some things he shouldn't have done. Misguided and too trusting."

It seems Liam may have sensed a tinge of inevitability about his untimely demise. He once shared, darkly, that he had been "born effectively dead" emerging prematurely into the world and showing no signs of life initially.

Throughout the early stages of his existence, he was plagued by health issues, shuttling in and out of hospitals for treatment of a defective kidney and enduring daily injections throughout his youth. However, he transcended the health struggles of his early years, growing into an exuberant and confident young man with a passion for entertaining his sisters at home and yearning for stardom.

Despite eventually attaining his ambitions, the toll extracted by the limelight was unimaginable.