'Liam Payne was no angel – but I happily followed One Direction everywhere and here's why'

The news of Liam Payne's death sent shockwaves across the world, a talented young man who had been open about his struggles lost his life in the most horrific way

Liam Payne was no angel, but let's start right now and find out why he had a heart of gold. And why I spent possibly far too much money following One Direction.

The late singer tragically lost his life in the most heartbreaking circumstances on Wednesday, having fell from the third floor of his hotel and suffered catastrophic injuries. The news still hasn't sunk in yet, despite having been a journalist for ten or so years. I keep expecting to see him pop up on Snapchat or Instagram. My heart breaks for his family, his partner Kate and his son Bear, seven. He loved that child more than life itself. Cheryl has the hardest job in the world, explaining to their son that his daddy is now in heaven. Whatever you thought of Liam, please remember that he is a son, brother, uncle, dad and friend. His loved ones are suffering heartache beyond imagination.

I vividly remember Liam's first ever audition airing on X Factor when he winked at Cheryl, the kid had balls – she was the nations sweetheart and every lad was either jealous of him, or saluting him (I was doing both). When One Direction burst onto the scene in 2010, they instantly became everyone's guilty pleasure, whether we listened to them in the car or sung their hits in clubs. Despite being a "manufactured" band, there was something about them that stood out. From the moment they were put together and the time between then and the live shows, hysteria had taken over and One Direction mania was in full swing.

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Although I was routing for Matt Cardle and my friend Rebecca Ferguson, there was no way I could deny One Direction had "it" – whatever it was, it worked for them and we saw the results. Whatever they did, it worked. Every single week. I was shocked they didn't win that series but it worked in their favour.

What Makes You Beautiful cemented them as the next biggest boyband and they continued to grow, album upon album, single upon single. They reached levels that nobody else had hit. They instantly became the biggest band in the world. Along came the tours, countless hours waiting outside queuing and following them around the country.

Looking back, I spent quite a lot of money, some would say far too much, but I have no regrets. Myself and a group of friends would travel across the country just to see them perform, wait outside hotels to try and meet them (mostly unsuccessful) but we had fun. That's what Liam was about. He was always cracking jokes with everybody, whether it was one on one with fans, or in a sold-out stadium.

Liam had this unique energy about him, his smile was beyond infectious and you couldn't help but feel comfortable. He had his flaws, yes. But don't we all? Nobody is perfect and I think we should remember that. But these five lads made people forget about their worries. We have several mutual friends who have always spoken so fondly of him and his love for helping others. That's how he should be remembered.

Over the years, I saw One Direction far too many times to count and met them on occasions. Whenever a new tour dropped, my friends and I would book a cheap hotel but ultimately, our plan was to meet them. We'd wait until the night before they were due on stage, find their hotel and book it, often splitting the ridiculous cost between us.

Here, we got to see what the lads were like away from the cameras and stage. Five down to earth lads who would happily sit at the bar or restaurant, without a care in the world. They were relaxed, having fun, poking fun at one another. Being normal teenagers and lads in their twenties.

I vividly remember being sat at the bar of a hotel in Manchester with a group of friends. Across from us was Louis, his mum Johannah and family, you'd have been mistaken for thinking he was playing the biggest indoor arena in Europe later that night. We eventually got chucked out as we only had a lunch reservation, so off we went (accidentally knocking over a glass of champagne on our table). Johannah later messaged me on Twitter, saying we should have just sat with her. That's what was instilled in the lads from the get go – normality.

Liam was just the same. Always thinking of others before himself, he would always try and find a way to acknowledge people who were waiting outside for him. Whether it was going to a hotel window to wave and smile at people, or venturing outside to say hello. That's the type of person he was. Much to the dismay of my family, the night before my final exams during my first year of university, I was happily sat outside of One Direction's hotel in Manchester, waiting for them to come out and say hello with a copy of my Introduction to Sociolinguistics and Phonetics and Phonology text books trying to revise – it didn't go well, as you can imagine.

I've been fortunate enough to meet all of One Direction, minus Zayn and I can honestly say, they are the nicest lads you could ever wish to meet. Yes, they may be multi-millionaires living in huge houses and having incredible cars but they are genuine.

A friend and I once bumped into Liam and Cheryl at a Caffé Nero in London, just queuing up to get a drink in the blistering summer heat. They went unnoticed – but not by us. We flashed a little smile and "hello," ever so casually before getting back on with our day, like they were. There were no heirs and graces about them.

Liam's struggles were well documented, including by himself. He struggled with alcohol and prescription medication but used his platform to share this – inspiring millions to speak out about their own struggles. Away from his fame, Liam was passionate about helping people. Whether that was with The Trussell Trust, Trekstock or meeting children from the Make A Wish charity. He really did have a heart of gold.

After lockdown, Liam started volunteering at a foodbank for The Trussell Trust. He was moved by the sheer number of families who were struggling to eat under the financial pressure of the lockdown and Tory government. He also donated cash worth around 360,000 food parcels to help people up and down the country after those attending food banks rocketed.

But he also carried out charity work under the radar. In October 2021, I discovered he was handing his own clothes (washed, of course) to a Depop seller for The Closets. In just a short amount of time, Liam's worn clothing had raised a huge £15,000 for The Trussell Trust and The Penrose Club. Liam also gave fans the chance to get their hands on clothes he had worn during his One Direction days while benefiting the two organisations.

I can't lie, I did snap up a lovely blue and white Penguin jacket, which I would have bought anyway but it was owned by Liam and it was helping charities so it felt right.

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