Conker champ accused of cheating after steel conker found in pocket

Controversy prevails in the world of conkers, wherein horse chestnuts on strings are whacked against one another until one or the other is destroyed. A steel conker was found in the possession of a champion, leading to accusations of cheating. David Jenkins, 82, was subsequently provisionally cleared after a review of video evidence suggested he could not have used it in any matches

David Jakins won the annual title in Southwick, Northamptonshire, on Sunday for the first time after competing since 1977. But the 82-year-old was found to have a metal replica in his pocket when he was searched by organisers after his victory.

The retired engineer has denied using the metal variety in the tournament.

Jakins was responsible for drilling and inserting strings into other competitors' chestnuts as the competition's top judge, known as the "King Conker".

The attire, the grandiosity, the officious officiation, the smirking spectacle of it all: kayfabe is not just for rasslin! Hey, at least it wasn't anal beads.

Previously:
• Chinese Chess master accused of cheating using remote-controlled vibrating anal beads
• Ass code: chess star accused of cheating with vibrating sex toy in anus