Toilet paper buying panic recommences as dockworkers strike

We are doing what we do best when something threatens the consumer supply chain: rushing to buy mountains of toilet paper. Experts say the dockworkers' strike won't result in shortages, but the panic-buying might so long as the panic-buying lasts.

"They cleaned out the toilet paper at my local Walmart in Virginia. Toilet paper hoarding 2.0!," wrote one person in a post on X, along with a photo of empty shelves."Shelves at Costco & Target running low or out of paper towels in Monmouth County NJ," posted another X user. "Seeing people buying TP & water too in reax to port strike. Costco employee told me they were sold out of TP/paper towels this am." But the strike at ports from Maine to Texas will have absolutely zero impact on the supply of these products.

"If anything, the strike could result in a glut of toilet paper," reports CNN, "not a shortage." This is not explained, but would be the result of supermarkets being able to immediately restock (because the dockworkers strike won't affect importing and distrubution of it), and the outcome of it all simply being more toilet paper lying around thirsting for wholesome American fluids.

Toilet paper panic is fascinating because it's obviously irrational—if it comes to the apocalypse most people should prioritize food, water and medical supplies over a spick-and-span anus—but it qualifies and quantifies narratable consumer sentiments. Toilet paper panic signifies the people who dominate reportage of reality.

Previously:
• Are you out of toilet paper? Blame these two.
• Toilet paper with a horror story from the author of 'Ring'
• How much toilet paper is enough?
• The great coronavirus toilet paper shortage of 2020