Jennifer Aniston Was Not and Is Not Banging Barack Obama

Sometimes a rumor can be so awe-inspiring that the simple beauty of it makes the truth almost irrelevant — like when someone on the internet tried to convince us that Kanye West was boinking Jeffree Star. Well, Jennifer Aniston went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to crush dreams. She denied all rumors that she and former president Barack Obama are having an affair. Ugh, Jen! But it would be so good! Even she seemed disappointed it isn’t true. “Of all the calls you get from your publicist, where you’re just like, Oh no, what’s it gonna be?” Aniston said. “I was not mad at it.” (He probably loves The Morning Show.)

Later in the interview, Kimmel asks Aniston to confirm or deny a few other pressing rumors, including that she has in her possession “a Ziploc bag filled with her dead therapist’s ashes.” She says this is a “little true,” and they promptly move on. Here’s the thing: We need some real journalists to be interviewing on late-night talk shows, because how and why Kimmel moved on from that response without getting any further answers we’ll never understand. Girl, give us something!