Palliative care nurse reveals regrets people express on their deathbed

When people are faced with their own mortality they experience a variety of emotions and gain perspective on their lives. 

A palliative care nurse, who works at Old Colony Hospice in Massachusetts, wrote a blog post, which has since resurfaced, revealing the top five regrets people express on their deathbed.

She explained that she was with her patients for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives and was able to gain some insight into their mindset in their final days. 

She revealed that each patient experienced 'denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance'. 

However reassuringly, the nurse did say that every single patient 'found their peace' before they passed away.

1. Not living for themselves

The nurse explained that the most common regret of all was people wished they had the courage to live the life they wanted; rather than the life others expected of them. 

When people realised that their life was almost over, they were able to look back on it clearly and saw how many dreams went unfulfilled. 

Most people realised they hadn't accomplished even half of their dreams and died regretting the choices they made (or didn't make). 

2. Working too hard

The nurse explained that men in particular often expressed regret that they didn't spend more time with their spouse or children during their lifetime. 

Some women also spoke about this regret; however as the nurse was often dealing with patients from an older generation, she explained male patients had typically been breadwinners who spent much of their time at work, rather than with their families.

3. Holding things in

The nurse revealed that many people revealed they had suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. 

As a result, they settled for a 'mediocre existence' and never reached their full potential.

4. Losing touch with friends

Many would only truly realise the full benefits of old friendships in their final few weeks, however it was not always possible to track them down at that point. 

She said: 'People became so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.'

The nurse explained people expressed 'deep regret' about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. 

5. Not allowing themselves to be happy

The nurse revealed that most people realised at the end that happiness was a choice. 

She said: 'Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.'

She explained that when you are dying, what others think of you doesn't even enter your mind. 

She concluded: 'Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.'